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And when you're paying festival prices for beer, getting an eyeful of colorful canvas breasts ain't a bad freebie at all. Liquid latex lasts at least five hours, but the Ozzfest painters are using regular old hypoallergenic body paints, so guys might get a peek-a-boob not long after the paint job. The body-painting booth (or tent) has become a staple of Ozzfest in the past couple years, with a touring entourage of painters that has included everybody from New York artist Joe Platia to members of the grassroots movement Decriminalize, which advocates for the legalization of marijuana and what better way to advocate than having topless women run around in triple-digit temperatures with cannabis leaves painted on their boobs? Ladies line up to get topless and painted, and then spend the rest of the day running around in the heat, until they start to sweat the paint off, which doesn't take long. Yikes.Īs if the spectacle of having contest booths involving kicking a soccer ball into some dude's face from 30 feet away and hordes of head-bangers running around in black tee shirts wasn't entertaining enough, Ozzfest's newest sideshow attraction is guaranteed to get more ogles than Anna Nicole Smith bending over in a tube top. Just please, Bishop Olmsted, don't give the guy another hot tub. There are still wrongs to be righted, no doubt, but perhaps Father Dale, who truly has suffered much from the scandal, should now be allowed to move on. The church has suffered so much and has learned so much the new bishop looks to be a good man, and the activities once condoned by priests like Dale Fushek are no longer tolerated. He simply is not the angel of the new church he was advertised as being. And he seems to have deeply scarred several men with his behavior. Let's make this really clear: The evidence uncovered by New Times suggests Fushek violated the immense amount of trust parents gave him to guide their children. Indeed, we've never seen the county prosecutors publicize and pursue misdemeanor charges with such zeal. But now, the honchos over at the County Attorney's Office seem hell-bent on hanging Fushek as high as possible on some misdemeanor indecency charges. Basically, he just got quite creepy, and way too naked, in the hot tub with young men to whom he was supposed to be a spiritual adviser, not some squirrelly 1970s love doctor. Really, with the evidence at hand, Fushek seemed more guilty of grotesquely violating moral laws, but not criminal ones. When New Times broke the story of the friar's alleged frivolity with naked young men, we went to great lengths to explain that the best evidence suggested Fushek only seemed to get really frisky once the young postulates were of legal age. To be honest, we're actually beginning to feel a little sorry for Father Dale. A guy that skinny and scary would never get laid any other way.
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And we thought those terrorists who bombed the World Trade Center were crazy for thinking their actions would merit them a passel of virgins to bang in the wild blue yonder! But back to Jeffs: When we got a gander of him on TV in his jail jumpsuit, we realized he was lucky to be born into polygamy. If men and women do not submit to this doctrine, they are banned from the community, stripped of their families and denied entrance into the "Celestial Kingdom." Anybody who's been paying attention knows what this is it's Mormon heaven, in which even mainstream Mormon men (who eschew polygamy while in the flesh the Salt Lake City-based church now forbids it) get to do the wild thing with multiple wives in the afterlife. Some men those Jeffs really likes, naturally have been granted scores of brides.
What power! Girls as young as 14 have been required to submit to this rule and bed down with guys old enough to be their grandfathers. Here's how Jeffs' nifty little religion works: Church doctrine holds that the prophet marry loyal male followers to as many "wives" as the prophet deems appropriate. His polygamist community of Colorado City, Arizona, and Hildale, Utah, straddles the state line. Which is why the FBI had the junior Jeffs on its Most Wanted list since August 2005, and why he was eventually nabbed on a highway in southern Nevada this summer and sent to face charges first in Utah and then in Arizona. Between Rulon and Warren, the Jeffses have forced young girls into sexual slavery for a couple of generations now. But Warren Jeffs, prophet of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has not only had sex with minors himself, he's required multitudes of his followers to commit the crime since he took over as Polygamyland's top dog from his dad. We've read of pedophiles in Arizona who've each accosted scores of children. Now, there's a lot of competition for this honor.